Essential Wedding Invitation Etiquette You Need

One of the coolest ways to set the vibe for your wedding day is by picking out the right invitations. If you get an engraved invite on that classy ecru cardstock with fancy black letters, you can bet the wedding party will be rocking tuxes. Sure, these are some traditional rules for wedding invites, but honestly, you’re free to do your own thing and still have an amazing wedding! Just steer clear of abbreviations on the invite (with a few exceptions like Mr. or Mrs.). Spell everything out, even the middle names and street addresses. And remember, the year should be written out too, like “two thousand and twenty” instead of just “2020.”

Keep in mind that invites aren’t supposed to be complete sentences, and they definitely aren’t the place to spill your life story. Just include the basics: Who’s getting hitched, when it’s happening, where, and who’s hosting. Also, it’s a good etiquette tip to have the names of the folks paying for the wedding listed first. But hey, in today’s blended family world, feel free to mix it up a bit! Besides the essentials of who, what, where, and when, don’t forget to add a response card. This will help you figure out how many folks you’re feeding. But even with that response card, some guests still don’t get that they need to RSVP, thinking they can just show up and everything will be fine. To avoid the headache of guests who don’t respond, definitely put a “respond by” date on that card. It might not get everyone to reply, but at least it gives you a reason to follow up with those who don’t.

And oh, watch out for guests who ignore the names on the envelope and try to RSVP for their plus-ones. If you invited Mr. Smith and get a response saying Mr. Smith and Miss Jones, you might need to have a chat with Mr. Smith about it. You could say something like, “Hey, we’ve had to trim down our guest list to just our nearest and dearest. I really hope you can make it, but I won’t be able to accommodate your friend.” Don’t hesitate—this is important! I mean, in Texas these days, you’re looking at around $50 per person just for the meal—don’t even get me started on the cake! If someone brings an unexpected guest, that’s $50 you didn’t budget for. If you get hit with this more than once, you’ll be in a tight spot. To dodge any last-minute budget surprises, tackle the uninvited guest issue head-on.

Also, another hassle is getting response cards back with no names on them. To avoid this, keep a list of your guests with numbers next to their names. Write that number on the back of the response card for each invite, so if it comes back blank, you can match it up with your list. Most people dig those traditional, plain, and tasteful wedding invites, but unless you’re going for a super formal vibe, skip them. They might not fit right. You can still go for a classic look but use a more casual script or wording if your wedding is more laid-back. Your invite’s style should reflect your community too—what your friends and family usually wear to weddings will likely carry over to yours. And definitely don’t put “black-tie optional” on the invite; that’s just silly since black-tie is always optional anyway. You can suggest it, but you can’t make anyone wear a tux!