Your standards don’t make you a monster. Period.
I should be able to end this blog right here, but sadly, the world we live in has made so many women feel like a nuisance for simply wanting their wants and needs to be met. Somehow, we’ve gotten to a place where having an opinion, speaking up, or knowing exactly what you want can make you feel like you’re being difficult. And for what? Because you have expectations for one of the most important days of your life?
Girl, no. Let’s talk about it.
You are allowed to have standards. You are allowed to have preferences. You are allowed to say no to something that doesn’t fit your vision, even if everyone else thinks it’s beautiful, trendy, or the next best thing since bluetooth earbuds. You are allowed to want what you want without feeling like you need to apologize for it.
And let’s be honest. Your wedding probably isn’t something you started thinking about the day you got engaged. For a lot of us, we’ve pictured our wedding day long before we even knew who we would be standing across from at the altar. Maybe you’ve always dreamed of a certain kind of ceremony, the dress, the flowers, the music, or the way you want your day to feel. Maybe you have a Pinterest board that’s been collecting dust for five years, just waiting for its moment to shine.
Those dreams and wishes matter. They are part of your vision, and you deserve to have a say in how that vision comes to life.
Having standards doesn’t make you entitled. Having preferences doesn’t make you ungrateful. And speaking up when something isn’t what you wanted doesn’t make you a bridezilla. Period.
I’m not sure when the world decided that a woman knowing what she wants automatically makes her the villain, but here we are, having to remind women that they are allowed to have expectations. And I think it’s about time we stopped making women feel guilty for having them.
Now, does that mean everything will always go exactly as planned? Of course not. Weddings involve people, logistics, budgets, weather, and about a million little moving parts. Sometimes things need to change, and sometimes we have to get creative.
And can I tell you something from the perspective of a wedding coordinator?
Those brides who know exactly what they want? Y’all are my favorites.
Seriously.
I LOVE a bride who can tell me what she likes, what she doesn’t like, what matters most to her, and what she absolutely does not want happening on her wedding day. Do you know why? Because I can take that information and run with it!
I don’t want to spend your wedding day guessing what will make you happy. I don’t want to wonder whether you’ll love a decision I made on your behalf or worry that I’ve missed something important because you were too afraid to tell me what you really wanted. I want to know your vision so I can help protect it.
Tell me the details. Tell me the little things that might seem silly to someone else but mean the world to you. Tell me what you’ve been dreaming about, what you’re nervous about, and what would make you look back on your wedding day and say, “That was everything I hoped it would be.”
That’s my job!
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