Although most couples end up spending a large amount of time finding the wedding attire, hiring a photographer, and deciding where to go on their honeymoon; the most important part of the wedding day is the ceremony itself.

Years ago, when people got married, they usually wed someone from their hometown who belong to the same church as they did. Arranging for the wedding ceremony was a snap, because all it required was contacting their priest, minister, or rabbi; expressing their desire to get married in their house of worship; booking a date on the calendar. Now things aren’t as simple.

Today finding a place to get married and a person to preside over it can be quite complicated. Men and women don’t always attend the same church, if they go at all, and sometimes they don’t even share the same religious backgrounds.

The best way to find someone to perform your ceremony, especially if you don’t belong to a church or you’re marrying someone of a different religion, is to talk to other couples you know who have had similar weddings.

Just as couples of differing faith may include certain traditions from their religions in the ceremony service, couples should feel free to adjust to the vows they’re going to take. Your vows should be put into a language that you both feel comfortable with.

Once you’ve settled on what you want to say at your ceremony, practice it. Under no circumstances should you try to memorize your vows because it can cause anxiety on the wedding day and cause you to stumble on your words. Instead, you should rehearse them at home simply so you get comfortable saying them.

Finally, make sure you settle on vows you can live with. Remember, you’re making a commitment to God and to your spouse.